“Don’t take things so personally!” You’ve heard it. I’ve heard it. But, what does that really mean? I’m a sensitive person and when someone wrongs me I feel it. Your mind can go on a whole little tirade of how this person did this or did that.
But do you really know that for sure?
What if that person was going thru their own shit day?
We don’t really know for sure. And when we start down the road of assumptions and judgments we can knarl up a whole story.
Take for instance, the other day a good friend of mine called me to tell me how her ex-husband had just unloaded on her and then promptly hung up on her. She wasn’t sure where it came from. She had seen 2 missed calls on her phone, but according to him he had tried multiple times to contact her. When we went back and looked at the history of calls and texts he had, actually, tried to contact her. But it wasn’t to “get back at him” like he had thought. She had been really sick in bed, too dizzy with fever to even see or hear that he had called. He was sure she was trying to avoid him, meanwhile she was just trying not to throw up one more time!
A completely relatable story, right? He had concocted this whole version in his head that was 100% about him. His feelings, his thoughts, his righteousness. He had been in his own head about what was going on. Had he stopped to ask the question, “hey, I’ve been calling and texting, is everything ok?”
It would have completely flipped the coin. And no blowout.
Here’s the rude awakening: IT ISN’T ALWAYS ABOUT YOU!
Yup! There it is. Use it as a reminder when you’re traveling down trash-talking highway.
How can You not take things personally
Stop yourself mid sentence and say, “it’s probably not about me, right now”. And the more you can let go of your expectation of what you think should be happening, the more FREE you can be. That’s the ego messing with you in thinking you are the only one to think about.
The real gift, is in the freedom of letting go of the expectation and realizing it may not be about you. You’re off the hook. You can take a breath. People are in their own world at least 70% of the time (or more with some people 😉 ). But, if we were to stop and think first before we reacted, just the simple thought… what if right now, it’s not about me, how would I approach this person right now, in this present moment.
Claiming responsibility for your own thoughts is one of the biggest gifts you can give yourself.
So, yes, you ARE magnificent.
Maybe, it’s not about you.
You’re still the coolest to me,