You have a say in how people treat you.
Whew! Ok there I said it. I find it disturbing how people just "take it” from other people who are in charge or have some authority. Recently, I was speaking with a dear friend of mine who was telling me how her boss was just going off on her, about the way she was teaching her class. Being extremely critical of her technique and style. The ironic thing was, she hadn’t received any complaints that she knew of; it was just that this boss had decided she wasn’t doing it her way and therefore, she wasn’t doing it well. Now, I understand if you have a mission and a clear path that you have decided is the way to share that message, than great! However, the delivery of that message was decidedly critical and meant to put her way down. When I pressed my friend to see what her response was, she said she just listened. But the distraught tone in her voice told me it was more than that. She had taken what she had said to be truth, to an extent. She had taken on the insults and now had to process it out.
Two things happened here. 1. She had taken what this woman said to be truth when in fact it was her opinoin. She did what I call an “emotional dump” on her about what she didn’t like. People in an authoritative position can either rule or inspire. And you know the difference. With people like this, make sure you are protected energetically. I have my clients visually create a sort of energy shield or an eggshell around you, before you encounter someone like this. It is almost mandatory. And there are a lot of people who “like” people like this. They want a “hero/guru” to guide them since they don’t have the trust and belief inside themselves. It sort of lets them off the hook to do the work themselves. But know this: you’ll just keep going on that path until you decide to get off.
And look, we all need to get checked sometimes. We all need to see our ugly truths and deal with it. When we take someone else’s experience on and check it with our own feelings you will either feel it as a twinge inside reminding you, awakening in you, to that truth. You may feel, “oh I don’t like what she’s saying, but I think I could learn something from it.” Or, “I don’t like what he’s saying, but I think I’ve heard this before…Hmmmm”. Great! That is the universe’s way of giving us the opportunity to reflect and look at our way of being and doing right now. And ask yourself, does it resonate with who you are? Is this a true reflection of how you want to show up in the world?
The second thing, 2. She gave her power over to someone else, thus giving her “permission” to treat her poorly. And I am sure it is a running theme. But, You have a say in how people treat you. You can emerge from those trappings of feeling less than by taking a stand for who you know yourself to be. This goes back to self-love. The more you are connected to your inner self, the true authentic you, you will begin to see the pitfalls as they occur. And you can say, “I don’t operate that way, I stand for _________.” Now more than ever, we have to know ourselves fully, completely and whole-heartedly so as to know when you are being mistreated or taken advantage of. Bullies don’t go away because you aren’t in grade school or high school. They persist throughout your life, if you don’t remind them:
You have a say in how people treat you!
I hope this inspires you to check in with yourself on a regular basis, to know who you are. You are amazing and have many gifts to give to the world! Your light is your own and there is no “right” way on the way to living an Empowered Life. And, you have a say in how people treat you!
In Light & Love,